Thanks All You Freakin’ Law & Order Politicians, You Suck

Yes, Guy, I stole this concept today…I’m tired and have only half the allotment of brain cells…remember, imitation is the highest form of flattery.

Bastards.  J-Man came home today with all his gift cards ripped off out of his wallet and yet another ID card stolen after they broke into his gym locker.  They broke the lock.  They took his cell phone (but fortunately, the gym teacher found it in a closet of all places).  They’d have taken his money, but he had that stolen two weeks ago, along with his ID.  All of these things need to be replaced, and guess who foots the bill?  Me—not those little bastards raised by bigger bastards who apparently think that’s just fine and dandy raising the next generation of thugs and bandits.  All of this in the school, in a locker room where anyone could have walked in and caught them.  And, poor J-Man, who knows I am not able to replace his lost loot.  Why…I have half a mind (and I really do today, by the way)…it was a very good weekend.

I’m sick of the asshole kids who break glass all over the park sidewalks, thinking it’s funny for some reason as they watch all the dogs walking through the park.  Or the asswipes who think it’s just fine to break into houses, knowing full well the cops won’t even bother coming out.  Thankfully, my burglar was stupid enough to pour paint all over my house a while back, or I’d never have seen the women in blue.  Or even those asshats who spin donuts on the street next to a crosswalk, tossing out beer cans as they hoot and howl with idiotic glee.  Or steal cars right out of the driveway just because they can.

Seriously, once this high school thing is done, I am so moving to the country where I can just worry about meth labs, those inbred cousin country crime syndicates (you know, where they sit around on the porch playing the same bizarre song on the banjo all day as the meth addicts come by to pick up their stuff even as their teeth fall out of their mouth and spend all night poaching in the woods for some lost kayakers so they can get their squeal on), or white supremacist survivalists who think lesbians are a threat to the American way of life.  I’d move to another country, but, I have a feeling it sucks there too.

Thank God I love people so fucking much.

 

I am misanthropos, and hate mankind,
For thy part, I do wish thou wert a dog,
That I might love thee something.

~ Bill Shakespeare