10th Anniversary of Blogs

If anyone had told me 10 years ago that there would be 70 million blogs out there today, I’d have said, “’Blogs’, what’s that?  It sounds like something that accompanies a hangover.”  But, here I am, and here you are, and there they are, all 70 million of us. 

What a surprise to see this in the paper this morning – well, no, it wasn’t really a surprise – RadioMatthew alerted me that he had sent in my blog name and I, in turn, alerted Beancounters I had sent in her name when the SacBee reporter emailed us and said they’d publish on the 30th.  I’d just forgotten, but what’s new there?

And, there we all are, way, way, way……way down at the very, very bottom of the feature article – but, hey, I’m lovin’ it!   Here’s the article:  Analysis, The Blog.

It’s the place where my prediction from the sixties finally came true: “In the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes.” I’m bored with that line. I never use it anymore. My new line is, “In fifteen minutes everybody will be famous. ~ Andy Warhol

That’s Me In The Corner, Finding My Religion

I was raised a kinda-sorta Protestant.  We were sent to church when we were very little, but didn’t worship as a family and I never heard anyone talking about God around my house unless some something really bad had happened, then I occasionally heard shouts of, “godammit” from my father in the workshop in the basement.  I always thought Mom sent us to church so she have an outlet for her little secret sadistic streak by forcing us into knee high socks, matching dresses, shiny patent leather shoes, and bonnets. 

During my school years, I would go to the churches of my various friends and was exposed to Baptists, Lutherans, Catholics, and even Seventh Day Adventists.  The best fun was hitting all the various vacation bible schools for the free art projects and cookies and kool-aid.  It was like going to a City Parks & Rec crafts program without the summer-long commitment.

As an adult, I have tried to instill some sense of something—don’t quite know what as I don’t know what I believe myself—into the children.  I’ve studied Christianity, Buddhist thought, Judaism, and Hindu and find them all attractive in their own way, but I always have something that I can’t get jiggy with, like to become Jewish, I’d have to give up shellfish.  Just can’t do it.  Obviously, my convictions are strong.  I have kind of viewed seeking a religion like I was shopping at SuperTarget—I would love to pick and choose those things I agree with and leave behind those things I disagree with.  So, I’ve tended to operate on the Golden Rule and leave it at that—a Secular Humanist, if you will.

Then, it was brought to my attention that there were two potentially viable options out there for me.  The Church of the Latter Day Dude has great appeal as it would fly in the face of all those things that hold me back.  I love the idea of giving it up to “whatever, dude.”   I wouldn’t have to give a shit about anything ever again.  Thanks, Beancounters, for turning me on to this, but this isn’t really being true to who I am.

Finally, I think that the earnest rebel in me has truly found the place I can fit in—feel comfortable—and also wear really cool t-shirts.  I won’t try to shove my new-found religion down your throats – because as a Pastafarian, that just wouldn’t be right.  Decide for yourself if the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is for you.   

 

When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, ‘Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don’t believe? ~ Quentin Crisp

Tuk, Tuk Natomas

 

 

If you like Thai food, you absolutely must go try Tuk Tuk, which I’ve heard means motorcycle taxi—didn’t see any of those there last night, but ooh la la, what a place.  Here are the ratings for last evening’s excursion:

(Scale is 1-4, 4 being the best ever – Mom’s home made noodles with chicken growing up and some baby lobster soup I had in Garmisch, West Germany in 1980 are about the only things that have ever received my 4) 

UD:       3.5       Service, speed, value, and food were perfect.  I hated the little vases at the front that look like horseshoes. 

LH:       3.5        The bathroom is the coolest—check out the dolphin head sink.  Drink was a little strong.  Love the “uniforms” on the waitresses.  Very exotic. Neither stuffy nor slutty.

LA:       3.5        Other than the fact after ¼ of my Mojita I couldn’t drink through the straw because of all the mint and cilantro jamming it up, it was perfect.

Welcome was pleasant, no wait, the server was not only beautiful (as they all were), she made recommendations and provided terrific service throughout the course of the evening. 

It’s chic – creatively designed, beating just about any any kind of restaurant in town in the looks department. 

The food, however, is the star here.  This is what we had and I can highly recommend each:

Miang Kam
Miang kam is a very tasty snack often sold as street food. It involves wrapping little tidbits of several items in a leaf, along with a sweet-and-salty sauce. Chewing the myriad ingredients together gives the taste buds a thrilling experience – from the rich, roasted flavors of coconut and peanut, to the tanginess of lime with zest and the pungent bursts of diced ginger and chilies. It makes a great party food!

Thai Barbecue Chicken
Chicken is marinated in a melody of Thai spices and then barbecued. This style of cooking chicken originated in the North East of Thailand, but now is served throughout the country as a favorite open market or roadside meal.

Kang Keiw Wan * (Green Curry)
Slightly sweet coconut cream based curry with slices of eggplant and bamboo shoots with an accent of Thai basil leaves.

Poo Pad Asparagus
Stir fried soft shell crab with fresh asparagus and lobster sauce.

Go soon – it’s still relatively undiscovered and it is possible to get a table without reservations.

I Like This Way Better Than Therapy

In the immortal words of Uncle Doreen…I had a terrible problem with my eyes today….couldn’t see myself going into work. 

This beats MBTE anyday.  Courtesy of the Cap’n, the results of my personality test!

 
Considerate Director

My personalDNA Report

Separate, Not Equal

I heard the tinny, hollow sound of irony Monday when I read that a California man is really pissed off because a judge ordered him to continue paying his ex-wife $1,250 per month in alimony despite the fact that his wife is now in a domestic partnership and has even taken the female partner’s last name.  Her alimony would have been gone with the wind if she’d “married.” 

The judge clearly stated:  Sorry, Ron Garber, but whatever this is, it ain’t marriage, get out your checkbook.  Exactly!  It’s not marriage – not even close! And, I’m betting this situation has lots of people scratching their heads saying, “Uh, gee, that’s wasn’t supposed to happen.”  Pretty classy of the woman to take the guy’s money, huh?   

Domestic partnership, which is intended to give many of the rights and benefits of marriage (but falls woefully short, especially in the taxation, pension/retirement benefits, and probate areas), allowed this particular Lesbian to slip through a pretty big loophole–the loophole that says they aren’t the same thing.  The judge has clearly said it’s not equal and nothing they call it can make it so unless it’s the same  – meaning actually calling it marriage (not that I’d go there again, eh?).   

On the plus side, divorce lawyers must have been rubbing their hands together gleefully because one of the offshoots of domestic partnership in California is they get to add to their client list in a very lucrative way – the more the merrier (I know mine was thrilled) – because we sure as hell have to go through a dissolution to our relationship that is just as legal, painful, and expensive as divorce.

I was ineligible to vote in the special election in March of 2000, but that’s when voters passed Proposition 22, an initiative which states: “Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California.” (Family Code Sec. 308.5.) It wasn’t even close – the initiative “won” 61.4% to 38.6%.  I’m thinking that public opinion may have shifted where those numbers are now probably flip-flopped—and now just may be the time to get another of our infamous Props on the ballot to reverse that decision and clear the way for complete marital equality.

I never thought I’d see the day when I’d want to root for the straight guy and for so many reasons.

A Family: two or more persons who share resources, share responsibilities for decisions, share values and goals, and have commitments to one another over a period of time. The family is that climate that one comes home to; and it is that network of sharing and commitment that most accurately describes the family unit, regardless of blood, legalities, adoption or marriage.
~  Home Economics Association

That’s So Lame

Over at Jestertunes, a major dust up occurred between Jester and someone called Webmiztris over a post of Jester’s, and it made me think. I thought Jester stayed on point, but those commenting on both sides just won’t give it up.   There’s a trend, I’ve heard it myself, for teens to say things like, “that’s so gay,” when they mean “that’s so lame.”  Now, the first time I heard it, I called the young slang spouters to task, asking them how they’d feel if someone said, “that’s so Sara,” or “that’s so Erica,” to mean the same thing.  Their excuse was they didn’t know anyone gay, so who could be offended?  I’m not out to that faction of the extended family.  I looked at them and said, “You have 20 or 30 friends, right?  I’ll bet one of them is gay, possibly more.  But, they wouldn’t feel safe telling you that if you and all your friends think there’s something wrong with being gay or you thought they were somehow not good enough.”  They were quite sure that there were no queers in their school in that town in Iowa.  At their 10 year reunion I suggest they take a look at who got the hell out of Dodge and consider again if they know anyone gay.  Knowing I had made no impact, I dropped it, but it had to be said.  My adult cousins all peered quizically at me over the tops of their glasses, silent.  I just know my kids get that it could be hurtful and I didn’t have to explain it to them in advance!

What do you think?  “Gay” used to mean happy.  “Faggot” was a bundle of sticks and the “fag” was a cigarette.  Words evolve.  Is it okay to use a term that has come to mean homosexual and make it into something that means “lame” or “stupid?” 

Insert any word that applies to you into the sentence and see how it sounds and how it makes you feel:  “That’s so [Black, Mexican, Mormon, Bob, Native American, Catholic, Baptist, Susan, Chinese, etc.].”   Now, understand that the context means that the word you just selected now means lame/stupid.  Would that be acceptable? 

Bigotry and intolerance, silenced by argument, endeavors to silence by persecution, in old days by fire and sword, in modern days by the tongue. ~ Charles Simmons

Talkin’ About My Generation?

Today’s guest blogger is a regular contributor, my favorite commentator on all things pop culture–KG.

I was going to write a guest blog for HAH on the complete lack of any magazine not pertaining to parenting or children at my gynecologist’s office, but I’ll save that for another day. Lindsay Lohan got arrested last night people, and so, my celebrity gossip obsession beckons… 

HAH pointed out something to me today that made my blood run cold…technically, Miss Lohan is of my generation. Even with her now in early 20s and my 20s fading fast, we are, as they say, of the same ilk. This terrifies me. I point and laugh at those trampy girls in the bar with their naughty bits exposed, blowing rails off the bathroom sink. My girlfriends and I snicker at their bleached hair and scorching fake tans. But now I have to ask myself – when I was first able to legally order a gin and tonic from my college watering hole…was I any different?

The answer is yes, but it’s not for the reason you think. It’s not because I was better, it’s not because I was smarter or rated lower on the skank-scale (ok, well, maybe the skanky part). I narrowly escaped Lohan-itis simply because the tidal wave of Bimbo just lapped at my ankles but didn’t come crashing over me. I got out just in time. I saw the first signs of it as I was finishing school. More and more beautiful women were starting to come back from spring break with a new set of breasts. My younger sorority sisters, who once found cheap thrills in drinking a beer underage, were quietly buying white powder from the dealer down the hall to stay thin. Somewhere along the way, society started sending the message to women, Lindsay included, that you had to resemble Pamela Anderson or Britney Spears or flash the Girls Gone Wild camera to be ‘someone,’ to make friends, and to…gasp…make boys like you. And so off they went to the plastic surgeon and tanning salon in pursuit of their future. There were inklings of this when I was still in my early twenties for sure, but lets just say the Pussycat Dolls weren’t in the Billboard Top 40 as of yet. 

I feel very lucky that it was ok to wear baggy overalls and a baseball cap when I was hanging out with my friends, rather than a cowboy hat and micro-mini. I am so relieved that having 2 drinks and getting a little tipsy constituted my group of friends’ wild Saturday nights. Sure we had our fun, but no one left their panties at home or struck a pose for Joe Francis’ cameras.

So there it is – Lindsay Lohan is, somewhat, part of my generation. And I would say the first half of my generation had it much, much easier than the latter. It really isn’t, entirely, Lindsay’s fault. She’s essentially living in the world that was created for her. But still, someone get the girl a driver…and a sandwich. 

As counterpoint to KG’s opinions, I direct you to Just A Girl in Short Shorts.

Kidless

We’re in Week 4 of no Hahns at Home except me.  I could have used the time to do any number of projects, but I didn’t.  Somehow, I never managed to get to them and think in the waning days of summer, I won’t.  I did stuff like spend entire days in my jammies and go to the ocean.  I’ve emptied the trash three times.  Washed about 20 forks and 20 glasses.  Did six loads of laundry.  Went mini-shopping three times and only because my freezer only holds so many frozen dinners at once.  And, I did something I never do—I bought things I should have gone to Target for and bought them at the grocery store.  Saving money has always driven me over convenience.  But, I rationalized.  I’m learning these valuable skills from the Aries in my life.  I rationalized that with gas costing what it does, it was silly to go down the road, eating up valuable natural resources (and untold Judge Judy time) to get liner for the cupboards and a lunchbag .  The cupboard liner is still sitting in the kitchen, waiting for me, now several days later and the lunchbag, well, after carefully filling it with all sorts of healthy snacks the first day, got left at work.

I’ve frequently thought, “OMG, what will I do when they all leave for real?”  

Somehow, I think I’ll adjust.  But, I miss them, yes, I do.  Tons.  J-Man complained that the littler kids are following him everywhere and there is no quiet place to write.  Em is ecstatic having new cornrows so she can use the pool every day.  Notorious B.E.N. passed geometry in summer school with an 85.  When the twins come back, I think they’ll have an appreciation that they get the best of both worlds—being part of a big family part of the time while enjoying all the financial perks like vacations, swimming pools, and movies on the weekends while there and getting lots of individual attention, and the space and place to pursue their quieter creative interests here.  Could it be any better?

We need quiet time to examine our lives openly and honestly. . . spending quiet time alone gives your mind an opportunity to renew itself and create order. ~ Susan Tyler

Satendar Singh

A couple of weeks ago, a young 26-year-old Fijian Hindu immigrant named Satendar Singh, allegedly died at the hands of young men from the local Slavic orthodox community. In short, Singh and friends were enjoying a lovely afternoon at Lake Natoma dancing and goofing off and happened to be sharing open space with persons from the Slavic community.  Reportedly, anti-gay, anti-Hindu epitaphs were slung.  By reports, Singh’s group did their best to avoid trouble.  As they were leaving, a member of the Slavic group punched Singh and he fell, hitting his head on a rock.  He was taken off life support four days later.

Singh was reportedly gay.  Some in his party were as well.  The Slavic orthodox community has been vehement in its vilification of homosexuals over the years here in Sacramento.  They are the loudest “haters” at gay events.  Sheriff’s department spokespeople say the death is still under investigation and it is unknown at this point whether enhanced “hate crimes” statutes will apply.   

What’s got me shaking my head is that various bloggers and editorializers in town are taking a soft approach—and deflecting from the end result (murder).  I found a piece in uber-cool local blog, criticizing the paper for “yellow journalism” for what I took as an attempt by the paper to tie its reporting together in a cohesive package.  They did not take to task this ultra-conservative and aggressive subset of so-called “Christians” and their long and storied behavior in the greater community towards gays.  The writers of that blog and many of its readers have not been victim to the Slavic community’s tactics, so are unfamiliar with its history of aggression in Sacramento.  Nice for them that they have the luxury of waiting for “the full story” reported in just the way they need before they can be outraged by behavior that’s been in the news and on the streets for years.   Then there were those who spent an inordinate amount of time knocking the inept 911 system for its rather bungled handling of the response to the sole 911 call made from the recreation area by an uninterested third party.  Hey, folks, a young man died by violence.  How about screaming:  “This death is wrong–a tragedy–and the investigation needs to be swift, efficient, and just as aggressive as those who committed the crime were that day?”  It pisses me off that the semantics of who said what or when or how it was or was not reported is being made the issue and not that someone is D-E-A-D by violence because he was gay.

I hesitated to discuss this topic because of the seeming reticence of the gay community to speak out too loudly.  I didn’t want to stir the pot.  Seems some community leaders feel that getting too messily riled up will only make it less likely that the appropriate charges will be filed and will hinder the investigation.  They are probably right.  Testosterone-driven battles between the two communities would serve no one.

I don’t think that the alleged murderers went out that day to kill someone.  I believe that a lifetime of hearing messages that homosexuals are a threat (even when laughing and dancing and minding their own business) may have had influence enough on testoterone loaded young men to inflame behavior that was aggressive, violent, and cause a death by violence, but is not an excuse.  And, if those individuals responsible were members of the Slavic orthodox church here in town, and heard those messages there—then that church is equally culpable. 

These alleged perpetrators are sentient beings, and are responsible for their actions, regardless of their upbringing.  Ironically, they “allegedly” violated one of the tenets of the Bible: “Thou Shalt Not Kill.”  I don’t believe there is anything that says in their Bible that there was a caveat in there anywhere that said: “Thou Shalt Not Kill, Unless They Are Queer.”   

And, I believe if these individuals aren’t charged and tried with the hate crimes enhancement, others in that community may believe that it’s open season on my community and do it again.

 

While I am interested in seeing hate crimes laws passed, my primary interest is not in punishing future killers such as the men who take the lives of people like Matthew Shepard, … My goal is to prevent those killers from being created in the first place. ~ Kevin Jennings

Suchitra Bosle

Every second Saturday there is a big “Second Saturday Art Walk” here in Sacramento. Midtown, always bustling, becomes the place to be with every business from architect offices to hair salons to actual art galleries displaying collections of art fom the bizarre to the sublime.

A couple of months ago, I went and was happy when I hit the 20^th St. Gallery and they were displaying a collection of 6” x 6” studies by various artists. I zipped around through the crowds looking at the various studies when I happened upon a set of studies of women that were heads and above better than any I’d seen. Kind of like putting a 1960 Aston Martin DB4 in a lot full of Ford Taurus.

This month, the artist was featured at the same gallery. I was in love—with the work of Suchitra Bhosle—and so were a lot of other people who probably had the $3,000 for the painting I had my eye on. Give her a visit – and if you’re in Sacramento, stop by the 20^th Street Gallery for a look up close and personal.

Art evokes the mystery without which the world would not exist.
~ Rene-Francois-Ghislain Magritte

Art used with permission, Suchitra Bhosle