What To Cook?

What to cook?  What to cook?  Dinner hour is fast approaching and pizza is not an option again this week.  Where for art thou cooking wife?

I subscribed to HBO for three months so I could watch the last nine episodes of Sopranos.  I haven’t missed it for years.  Last year I’d waited 22 months to see the start of this final season.  Then, I waited 9 more months for these last episodes.  My sister and I have a standing gig to see it, and each week, we end up staring at each other, saying, “What?” 

The pace is so slow; I guess the writers figure they’ve shown us everything there is to see and now it’s about character wrap-up.  It seems the long journey taken by Dr. Zhivago–which some found to be grand, sweeping, and epic but I found to be boring and pretentious. 

Will we get a satisfying ending?  It seems like the way to go is, ”Fall of the Roman Empire.”  Treachery, duplicity, madness, lust, and even the the growing weariness of Tony Soprano seem to scream that a dagger through the heart looms for him–it’s all there, just waiting for the events to be set in motion–or perhaps they already have been, they’ve just made the puzzle a little too convoluted.

It just better be good–since I have a feeling there will be no reunion shows–that’s all I have to say.

Nature Therapy

Retail therapy is not usually my thing, but I got a little today—nature therapy.  Went to the pet store to get a birdfeeder and a hummingbird feeder along with the appropriate accessories.  Got them both up and immediately found success with the beautiful pair of house finches who greedily dug in and a little hummingbird that flitted and darted before me.  The bees were doing their thing, and I, a mere spectator to the life buzzing around me on this day, was overwhelmed with its simplicity.

Then, I potted some outdoor plants to inject a little happiness into my sadness.   Feeling the richness of the soil soothed me.  Seeing the little wilting buds come alive again as the watering revived them encouraged me.

Finally, I tried once more to overcome the normally murderously black nature of my thumb by bringing in another houseplant.  That may not end so well if history is anything to go by.  Bringing more beautiful life into my life seems to have helped. 

And, in honor of the end of National Poetry Month, behold this brief poem by Amy Lowell, an early century imagist.

The Garden by Moonlight
A black cat among roses,
Phlox, lilac-misted under a first-quarter moon,
The sweet smells of heliotrope and night-scented stock.
The garden is very still,
It is dazed with moonlight,
Contented with perfume,
Dreaming the opium dreams of its folded poppies.
Firefly lights open and vanish
High as the tip buds of the golden glow
Low as the sweet alyssum flowers at my feet.
Moon-shimmer on leaves and trellises,
Moon-spikes shafting through the snowball bush.
Only the little faces of the ladies’ delight are alert and staring,
Only the cat, padding between the roses,
Shakes a branch and breaks the chequered pattern
As water is broken by the falling of a leaf.
Then you come,
And you are quiet like the garden,
And white like the alyssum flowers,
And beautiful as the silent sparks of the fireflies.
Ah, Beloved, do you see those orange lilies?
They knew my mother,
But who belonging to me will they know
When I am gone.

 

More Micron Technology Outrage

The Micron Technology thing is really bugging me badly.  The more I think about it, the more outraged it makes me, and thanks for thinking of me, NO, I’m not PMSing.  I hope you’ll let them know it’s unacceptable to discriminate against ANYONE.  Period.  I was fortunate enough to have a friend pass my blog on to the head of PR for Micron Technology…but, without any buzz in cyberspace, I’m afraid this hue and cry of mine will go unnoticed—so help a girl out, will you?  Write to the directors of Micron Technology and let them know YOU personally will no longer tolerate business discriminating against any class of employee, not just gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and transgendered people.

I’ve had three conversations with three different people this week about general perceptions of those living in other places (not about the issues with Micron Technology) based on things going on elsewhere in my life.  I then asked each of them, “Are you native to California?”  All three were.  They had not lived extensively in other parts of the country or in other countries. 

What many of them have grown up with and learned, and EXPECT, is not only a greater tolerance of all people, but an acceptance and even an embracing of differences.  That those differences enrich the fabric of their lives.  I’m thinking that though lots of people I know who do live in other places think Californians are a bunch of daisy toting, pot smoking, liberal loony tunes, I’d have to say California got much of it right and have raised a new generation of young people who will make a difference in changing our perceptions of people of color, of diverse religions, and of sexual or gender orientation. 

It’s just a crying shame that there are so many who can’t seem to catch up; instead perpetuating hate, intolerance, indifference, and prejudice and who will continue to pass these ever-so-lovely traits from generation to generation in perpetuity.

The most certain test by which we judge whether a country is really free is the amount of security enjoyed by minorities. ~ Lord Acton

Where Dreams Reside

Four teenage boys spent the night up playing Nintendo Wii, eating pizza, drinking soda, and finishing off a cake.  It was the end of the endless birthday celebrations for the twins.  I had a pal of mine stop by and hang out for a while.  It was good to laugh.  I haven’t laughed much this week.  Midnight was my limit and Em hunkered in with me for a girl’s slumber party on the other side of the house.  We did manage to make room for our extra friend, Roxie (formerly George), the Taiwanese mutt, who is staying with us for a few days.  I need to think seriously about a king size bed.

This morning I was awoken by what I thought was the ring tone of my freshly ex-girlfriend.  I wrestled in my still-groggy head whether or not to answer.  Then, I opened my eyes and flipped open the phone.  No one had called. 

Sadness is but a wall between two gardens. ~ Kahlil Gibran

Bad, Bad Micron Technology

Here’s the letter I’m writing the CEO of Micron Technology, based in Nampa, ID, but with offices worldwide.  I hope you’ll join me in being just about as sick of this continuing bullshit as I and write to Stevie or one of his directors (names will be listed at the bottom of the page).  If you are a fellow blogger, I’d be very grateful if you will mention this link on your blog page.

April 26, 2007

 

Steven R. Appleton
Chairman, CEO & President
Micron Technology, Inc.
8000 South Federal Way
Post Office Box 6
Boise, ID 83707-0006
Tel:  208-368-4000
Fax: 208-368-4617

Dear Mr. Appleton,

Far from being a raving lunatic activist, I’m just a simple, Midwest-bred, middle-aged, single mother of three teenagers with lots of computers, who is likewise employed at a world-renowned company.  The major difference between the two companies—the one I work for—and yours, Micron, is that mine treats all of its employees equally, both gay and straight.

Today, I read that the board of directors at Micron had overridden the overwhelming mandate of its stockholders and will instead continue to allow employment discrimination against gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered employees throughout your company.  I feel quite fortunate I do not work for Micron—I’d feel so unvalued, knowing my good work meant nothing, and that at any moment, I could lose my job, despite any positive contribution I may have made, simply because I was not straight.

It is shocking to me that in this day and age that anyone must be discriminated against based upon their sexuality or gender identification; things that most reputable medical and psychological professionals believe to be outside the realm of an individual’s ability to change.

Micron’s general counsel cites concern for “expanded legal liability” in his explanation of why the board decided to ignore its stockholders.  What would that be exactly?  I can’t think of any, and apparently 86% of our country’s Fortune 500 companies and 98% of Fortune 100 companies haven’t either, because they’ve managed to come up with viable and socially relevant policies that protect their employees from what 55% of Micron’s stockholders felt would be wrongful termination. 

And, of course, you’ve seen the terrible, terrible things that haven’t come out in the wake of legal domestic partnership, civil union, and gay marriage in the states that allow them, haven’t you?  Or, how the fact that 17 states that provide GLBT people rightful employment protection hasn’t meant that businesses in those states have crumbled under the weight of unwarranted litigation by simply providing basic human rights to a previously unprotected class of citizens.

Get with it—make your case clear and provide tangible reasons for Micron’s decision to your stockholders, clients, and the public.  Let’s see how it sounds to them.   Let’s see how it sounds to me and my buying dollar that doesn’t have to buy products in which your technology is installed.

Yours truly,

 Lori Hahn

The Directors:

·         Steven R. Appleton

·         Teruaki Aoki

·         James W. Bagley

·         Mercedes Johnson

·         Lawrence N. Mondry

·         Gordon C. Smith

·         Robert E. Switz

Yo, Sigmund, Over Here

I’m a big proponent of therapy–Sigmund isn’t my deal, but hey, but how many people recognize a picture of Dr. Aaron Beck ?  It’s helped me several times over the years get things straight in my head (because Lord knows the rest of me sure isn’t).  Something snapped this weekend with all the myriad of difficulties I encountered, and I realized that if I didn’t find someone to talk to about it all, I may completely lose it.  Okay, and sorry, but watching me dance naked except for a baseball cap through the sprinklers as I sing songs from “Annie” at the nearby park in broad daylight probably wouldn’t serve anyone very well. 

Most recently, I had a therapist who helped get me through the breakup of my long term relationship a while back, but hey, she’d stopped practicing.  I always hoped it wasn’t something I’d said.

So, I had to hunt up a new one…which is a pain.  I’m fussy, you know.  I’m not going to spend time on mother/father issues…been there, done that, bought the existential t-shirt.  I ask them if they can deal with a short-term project oriented program and if they can’t or if they try any of that voodoo stuff that my Midwestern sensibilities can’t wrap my head around, I move on to the next candidate.  Oh, and of course, the always obligatory question, “Are you able to work with a queer who doesn’t want some right wing fundamentalist trying to convert them?”  The answer isn’t always, “Yes,” not even in California.

Considering there were fully 200 therapists within 5 miles of my location, I figured some of them had to pay the rent and I’d be bound to find someone.  I did.  And a backup.  I also took some action to deal with the teenager issues that seem to be rife.  And, my girlfriend and I broke up again yesterday, sadly—she is a singular woman.  I think, however, that this was the final one authorized us according to the Lesbian Etiquette & Drama Manual.  This one is going to be toughest of all. 

So, the next chapter is about to begin.  Tonight, all I want to think about is the fact that I’m not cooking and enjoy some pizza and wings, kick up my feet, and in the immortal words of “Annie,” I know the “sun will come out tomorrow, bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow, there’ll be sun!”

We’re all crazy and the only difference between patients and their therapists is the therapists haven’t been caught yet. ~ Max Walker

Um…

I was walking back into my building this afternoon and turned a corner to see a tall, well-dressed man look at me and say, “Is it satisfying for you?”

Immediately, I’m thinking…”Um…well…yeah, but only after the kids go to bed.”  Thankfully, I realized he had one of those Bluetooth things on and was having a conversation with someone else before I actually spoke.

Phew.

Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers when there was no Velcro. ~ Dave Barry

I Seem To Be Missing Some Pages From The Parenting Manual

Today, I found out the kids are normal.  They do things they shouldn’t and try to hide it because they know it’s wrong.  I had to have that, “You’ve violated my trust in you and I’m deeply disappointed” talk with one of them.  The larger issue is still to be dealt with and I was just crying out for someone to talk to about it. 

It made for a rough weekend.  Watching them make stupid mistakes that could have life-altering consequences is incredibly painful.  But, they are people—and as I hold on—they pull away.  Striking that balance is way tougher than I gave my mom credit for.   About the only thing I have going for me here is that I do talk to my kids—frankly, without judgment; about safety, about unconditional love, and about rules and boundaries.  I thought it stuck last time, but apparently, having not been provided a manual upon their arrival, I have to write a few chapters of my own.

Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off the nation’s highways. ~Dennis Miller

Comcast Cable

HahnatHome:  Hi, I can’t use “On Demand” on one of my televisions—never have been able to get it to work.  Just found time to call it in.

Crappy Cable Company Representative:  Let me reboot your system

Hold, hold, hold, hold

CCCR:  You should now see “To Be Announced”

HAH:  I don’t

CCCR:   Yes you do.  Hit “Info” – do you see it? 

HAH:  Yes, but it went away immediately.

CCCR:  Okay, you’ll be looking at the “To Be Announced” until it reinitializes

HAH:  I don’t see “To be Announced”

CCCR:  Ma’am I’m trying to help you.  You need to stop interrupting me.

HAH:  But…if I don’t see what you tell me I should be seeing, doesn’t that indicate something may be amiss?

CCCR:  You really need to stop interrupting me.  Now…when it stops saying, “To Be Announced…”

HAH:  That’s what I’m telling you—it doesn’t say that.  If it doesn’t say that and we can’t duplicate its ability to say that, then I’m thinking that what you’re telling me isn’t going to work for some reason and we may want to investigate other possibilities.

Multi-syllable words apparently intimidate CCCRs.  The supervisor she sent me to immediately, who wasn’t able to pick up for 15 minutes (my penalty for disagreeing), was quite helpful.  And, it turns out the box was bad and always had been.  I drove in the rain to one of their convenient “lobbies” and waited with 25 other people to exchange bad equipment.  (Sidenote:  There were fully 9 queers in the line of 25 people, so I’m thinking I definitely moved to the right part of town.)

I went home to plug it in and found it had completely different hookups.  I called for help installing.

HAH:  Hi-I called earlier and had to go get new equipment.  It’s completely different.  Can you walk me through the hookup?

Helpful rep quickly walked me through the process.

CCCR:  You should be good to go, just let it initialize over the next 30 minutes or so.

HAH:  But all I see is snow.  I think we need to activate the box.  How about if you just hang out with me until this works?

CCCR:  Is it on channel 4?

HAH:  Yes.  The woman at the “lobby” was very clear—the box needs to be activated.

CCCR:  No it doesn’t.

HAH:  She was quite clear, could we please, please, please just try it anyway…please…I can’t tell you how important this is to me…just bear with me…give it a little try…just for me, huh?

CCCR:  Okay, I’ll do it anyway. 

Magically, the box came alive.

My cable company, I think our relationship will be brief.

The services being offered to the customer have not quite caught up with the technology. ~Lance Wilson

Hopefully Yours, Hahn At Home

Two big events occurred this week.  One, Em and J-Man celebrated their 14^th birthday.  Of course, the celebrations are ongoing since this year will mark the first year they have completely separate parties on successive weekends.  J-Man, always precise, opted to take the latter of the weekends because, “That will give the moms more time to plan around it.”  Gotta love that.  These two, who were once so small they wore the same size diaper as a Cabbage Patch doll, either tower over my 5’8 frame, or come damn close to it.  The best part?  Shh…don’t tell them…not only am I proud of them in a parental kind of way, I like them as people.    But, I think they already know how I feel, because I tell them.  They have adapted to so much change in their young lives and have dealt with multi-parents and multi-households with aplomb…it helps when the other parts of the equation are also doing their part so the kids can do theirs.  Right on.

Second up—Em had her IEP today.  For those not dialed in to the latest acronyms, that’s Individualized Education Plan.  Em is a special education student and each year has educational goals and services established to help ensure her greatest success.   It was the most promising one I’ve ever attended.  I had a teacher say she’s one of his best students. The rest of the teachers said she’s funny, motivated, on-task, and is a pleasure to have in class. Two years ago, she couldn’t focus and the story was quite a bit different.  A rockin’ combination of doctors, educators, psychologists, parents, and Em herself got together with one goal in mind—to help Em.  And, it’s working.  While I’m sure there are higher performing schools in Sacramento—my hat is off to the staff at her school. They’ve made a difference where other schools have not.  I wouldn’t want their job—but, I’m glad these teachers decided teaching was the job for them.

If a child can’t learn the way we teach, maybe we should teach the way they learn. ~Ignacio Estrada